


Daddies and Dreaming

by AllieChick



Series: Ugly Titan Children Au [14]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern AU, family au, interesting dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2775107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllieChick/pseuds/AllieChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has always known about Erwin's late wife. Sometimes though, he worries about how Erwin is handling his grief. And sometimes he wonders if Erwin will ever be ready to marry him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daddies and Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> Based off an idea my girlfriend gave me and written as a gift for her. The kiddies are juniors in high school and 17ish.

Levi never had any reason to feel jealous or threatened by Erwin’s first wife. Why should he? To put it bluntly, she was dead. There wasn’t much she could do to hurt his relationship with Erwin. Of course, Erwin would always be affected by his relationship with Maria. He would always love her. The only concern Levi ever gave her was when he noticed Erwin having a particularly hard time with grief. Such as now. 

Over the many years they’d been together, Erwin had shared the details of his first wife Maria: how they’d met, what she was like, how she died. For a long while, Erwin was very hesitant to talk about her. Levi could understand why- the whole thing greatly affected the man. He was certain that the Erwin Smith he knew was not and could never be, the Erwin he was when he met Maria. 

But Levi had told Erwin that he was being and idiot. As his partner, lover, boyfriend, whatever-the-fuck you called them, Levi wanted to help him through his grief. Just as he knew Erwin would support him through the baggage he carried form his troubled youth. 

Anyway. The point was, Levi had nothing against Maria, or Erwin’s thinking about and talking about her. However now, Levi was a little concerned about whether or not he would even truly move on and accept her death. 

This new concern had all started when Armin had an incident in PE and needed to be taken to the hospital (nothing to be too worried about, just a little fainting. He’d been sick the week before and probably shouldn’t have been running around). Erwin was busy with work and unable to receive phone calls, so it was Levi who took Armin to the hospital. It was a just-in-case sort of trip- with Armin things had a way of becoming serious quickly. 

Now, Levi had been taking care of Armin like he was his own son for almost 14 years. In his eyes, Armin was as flesh and blood as Eren and Mikasa (who, strictly speaking weren’t flesh and blood either, but that was beside the point). But sometimes Levi forgot that he wasn’t, in fact, Armin’s father. Nor was he Erwin’s husband. So legally, the doctors and nurses couldn’t release any information to him, or release Armin, until Erwin got to the hospital. 

Armin was fine of course, but Levi had never been so frustrated in his life. What if it had been a genuine emergency? So Levi stewed quietly to himself all the way home, with Erwin fussing and Armin assuring him that he was fine. 

One single thought crossed Levi’s mind and wouldn’t leave. Why wasn’t he married to Erwin? 

They’d been together for a good 14 years. 

In the early days of their relationship, back when the kids were just starting school, they’d discussed it. The two families had just moved into a larger apartment together and they were working out the dynamics of raising kids together, but also separate. Erwin had been very clear that he wanted to remain an important figure in Eren and Mikasa’s life (it would be hard to avoid, what with him living in the same house) but he wasn’t their father. 

It had struck Levi as a little odd. After all, if they were making the commitment to live together, weren’t they also making the commitment to raise their kids as one family? 

“But,” Levi had begun to protest, before stopping himself. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself. 

“What is it?” Erwin had asked. “You can always be honest with me, Levi.” 

So Levi had told him what was on his mind. “But aren’t we going to get married eventually anyway? Won’t it be weird to change how we raise the kids?” 

The look on Erwin’s face had concerned him. Immediately he began to panic. Surely he hadn’t read too much into the relationship, right? Levi didn’t tend to do relationships partway. It was all or nothing and he had thought they were going for it all. 

“Levi, I love you,” Erwin had assured immediately upon seeing his distress. “And I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. But I- I’m just not sure if I can feel comfortable being married again so soon.” He had looked embarrassed and ashamed. 

Then Levi had understood. He hadn’t felt jealous that Erwin wasn’t ready to be married. In fact, Levi had encouraged Erwin not to feel pressured into something like that. He could wait for when he was ready. 

But now, presently, Levi was starting to wonder if Erwin would ever be ready. It wasn’t that Levi needed a wedding to know Erwin’s commitment to him. But the legal complications that came with only being civil partners concerned him. What if another situation like this arose, only more serious? 

To top it all off, the anniversary of Maria’s death was approaching and Levi felt guilty for worrying over these things. At this time of year, Levi needed to be emotionally supportive of Erwin. 

It was very concerning when Erwin asked to visit Maria’s grave alone. Levi had gone with him for years. Normally he stood silently to the side, paid his respects and had a hand ready for Erwin to hold if he needed it. The request to go alone could only mean two things, or so Levi figured. Either Erwin had caught on to Levi’s recent concerns about the status of their relationship and misinterpreted it as jealousy for Maria. Or Erwin was struggling with his grief and didn’t want Levi to see. 

When the day came, Levi sent Erwin off with a gentler farewell than usual. He tried to let his affection show, rather than being his usual self. Even if it made him feel uncomfortable. 

While Erwin was gone, Levi cleaned the house top to bottom. It didn’t need that much work, since the usual cleaning day was only a few days ago. So Levi started his deep cleaning routine that he normally only did every few months. By the time Erwin came back, Levi was elbow deep in the vents, clearing out dust. 

Like he always did when he was feeling a lot, or keeping things to himself, Erwin was a clean slate. Nothing was betrayed in his face or voice and he avoided the topic of his visit with manipulative ease. So Levi was left continuing to stew with worry.

It didn’t escape Erwin’s notice either. Or his children’s. Mikasa offered to make dinner that night and Eren even cleaned his room, all in an attempt to relieve whatever stress was bothering him. How did he raise such sweet beings? It certainly wasn’t from his example that was for sure. 

Normally, when Levi had something on his mind like this, he would confront it directly. He’d say what was on his mind and not pussy foot around the issue like Erwin tended to. But he couldn’t say anything to Erwin, not without the chance of hurting him while he was already emotionally vulnerable. 

So Levi went to bed that night, worrying and wondering and wanting to be married to the man who lay beside him. 

* * *  
Instantly, Levi could tell that he was dreaming, but he could also tell this wasn’t a normal kind of dream. Frist of all, it felt real, but didn’t resemble his life at all. Second of all, he was on a beach. Levi hated beaches. Beaches were cesspools of filth and smelly people, not to mention sand that got everywhere and was nearly impossible to clean up. Surprisingly though, he wasn’t feeling that distressed. But that probably had to do with the fact he was alone. 

He began to wander aimlessly down the boardwalk- like hell was he stepping in the sand. Admittedly, the warm breeze felt nice and the ambient crash of the waves was calming. This, as far as beaches went, wasn’t bad. 

Suddenly, there was a shout behind him. Levi looked and saw a young woman running towards him. She looked familiar; the blond hair, the blue eyes and the shape of the face being something he knew he’d seen before. But Levi couldn’t place her face. 

“Hello!” she greeted cheerfully as she reached him. 

“Hi,” Levi returned, not nearly as enthusiastic. Though he never greeted anyone enthusiastically. 

Levi continued to be confused as the woman fell in step with him as he walked. She wasn’t going to go away then. He wasn’t sure what she was expecting, because he wasn’t about to talk with a complete stranger. 

Finally after noticing how she watched him with a faint smile on her face, he asked, “Can I help you?” in a tone that wasn’t at all very helpful. 

“Oh, you already have,” she replied. 

Levi frowned, but continued this awkward walk down the boardwalk. 

“Would you like to sit and chat?” the woman suggested. 

Again, Levi’s brow furrowed more. He was not about to sit down in the sand and speak with an odd stranger in a bizarre dream he was having. 

“There’s no place to sit,” he said, but right after he spoke the stranger smiled and moved to sit on a white bench that Levi swore wasn’t there earlier. Feeling that he had no choice as he saw the expectant look on her face, he sat down with a “Fine.” 

At the very least, he refused to start the conversation. If this woman wanted to talk to him, she would have to start. Levi wasn’t going to indulge in her strangeness by asking questions. 

“I’m very happy to finally be able to meet you,” she said. 

Levi blinked and replied with a “Sure.” 

“I’ve been trying to reach you for a while now. Ever since you started dating Erwin,” she continued. 

Then suddenly, Levi knew where he’d seen her face. Suddenly, he was very interested in what she had to say and watched her with wide eyes as she continued to speak. 

“I’d thought about showing myself to Erwin or Armin,” she admitted. “But in the end, I knew it wouldn’t help them move on.” 

“You’re Maria,” Levi stated. This was the woman he’d seen in pictures and heard described to him a dozen times. 

Maria smiled and patted his knee. “I knew you’d get there eventually. Maria Arlert Smith. Erwin’s wife and mother of my dear Armin,” she stated with a quiet pride. 

“They miss you,” Levi said, suddenly feeling a responsibility to be a middle man between her and the loved ones she left behind. “I know Erwin still loves you. He’d want to speak to you again, if he could.” He’d witnessed the ways Erwin spoke quietly to her grave, when he thought Levi wasn’t listening. 

“You’re sweet,” she spoke. Levi quirked his brow in confusion. “But as I said, it would do more harm in the long run. This is a onetime thing after all. Besides, this is about you,” she said in a voice that was firm but kind. 

“Are you here to warn me to stay away from your man?” Levi deadpanned. That would certainly be a surprising twist to this whole odd adventure.

But Maria laughed in a soft way. Levi could understand why Erwin loved her. Even if she was a woman and Levi was strictly interested in men, he could see she was attractive and clearly kind. Levi realized she was where Armin got his sweet demeanor from. 

“No, nothing like that,” she replied. “I’m here to thank you.” 

“What for?” he asked, genuinely confused. 

“You’ve looked after my husband and child,” she answered softly. “You’ve been there for them when I can’t be. You’ve taken Armin in as your own and been a second parent for him when Erwin alone wasn’t enough. I’m so proud of the young man he’s become,” she said fondly, tears glistening in her eyes. “And I know it’s thanks to you, Levi.” 

“Oh, I didn’t-“ Levi began to protest. But Maria shook her head to stop him. 

“And you’ve helped Erwin heal,” she continued. “He had such a hard time after I died. He was lonely, but he’s been so much happier with you.” 

Levi didn’t know what to say. What could he say? “But I don’t know if he really has moved on,” Levi said, the worries of earlier spilling out. “He seems to have been having a harder time recently.” 

To his surprise though, Maria smiled. “Today, when he visited my grave, he wanted to tell me something important,” she explained. “He said he’d decided he was going to propose to you.” She stated with a smile. 

Levi was speechless. So that was why Erwin wanted to go alone. His worries had been completely unfounded. Erwin was going to… they were going to…

“I’m so very glad. I think this means he’s truly accepted my passing. You were just what he needed,” she concluded. She gave Levi a moment to process what she had told him and put a hand on his shoulder. After a few minutes she said. “It’s surprising how different we are. But I suppose Erwin needed different things at different points in his life.” 

Levi smiled at that. From what he’d heard, he agreed. They were pretty different. 

“You’re very lovely,” Levi said. “I think if we met in real life, I’d like you.” 

Maria smiled. “I know that means a great deal, coming from you.” 

Around him, Levi could feel the dream begin to fade. It wouldn’t be much longer until he woke up from this very interesting conversation. Maria sensed this too. She leaned forward to give him a hug. 

“Thank you. And please take care of my boys” she murmured in his ear. 

* * *  
As Levi became aware of the bedroom again and the feeling of Erwin’s arm wrapped around him, he gasped. That… that dream. It was so vivid and real. He didn’t understand how it happened, or what it was. But it had happened. 

“Levi?” Erwin asked sleepily, feeling Levi move to sit up. 

He was running his fingers through his hair, trying to organize his thoughts. He was confused. But at the same time, he felt completely at peace. He was happy. He was glad, he was glad it happened. 

“Are you okay, Levi?” Erwin asked in concern. 

“I’m fine,” Levi replied and he was being completely honest. 

Erwin brought a hand up to his cheek. “Levi, you’re crying,” he explained softly. 

Surprised, Levi wiped his eyes. “I’m alright. It was just a dream I had.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Levi shook his head. “No. I’m fine. I feel…. I feel really peaceful.” 

Erwin yawned. “Good. You seemed stressed earlier,” he said, unconsciously petting Levi’s hair as he spoke.

“I’m not worried about that stuff anymore,” Levi murmured, letting himself lay back down and cuddle close to Erwin. “Everything’s fine.” 

“Good,” Erwin mumbled, falling back to sleep already. 

And everything was just that, good.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and as always, you can find me on tumblr at alliechick.tumblr.com


End file.
